One day Mabel napped for a total of 1 hour. The most awake she had ever been AND THEN she had the worst week sleep since newly born. This all started around the time of the eclispe, a major swirl of energy was happening all in and around me. I decided to get off Instagram again AND I commited to daily cold dips. Best decisions ever. I had one or two of the hardest weeks and I feel like giving myself digital space and a new thrilling healthy habit enhanced my resilience greatly. I feel very in my body and in my power. We have introduced solid foods and have had a couple of good sleeps now and I feel like a stronger person.
Instagram was distracting me from what is real. I am on a serious quest towards real. I can’t have a balanced relationship with an app that is designed to be extremely addictive. Instagram, a street drug. I have a feeling we will all be moving away from it, towards what, I am not sure.
The cold dipping has helped me through the sleep regression immensely. Now I’m wondering how I was living my life without cold dipping. I live just a couple of blocks from two lakes that are very unpopulated so I can walk with Mabel and park her on the tiny rocky beach while I reset myself and breathe. Nothing has snapped me out of a bad vibe like long exhales and frozen skin. It’s something I get excited for every day now, the perfect change of state reminder that all is well and I’m right where I am meant to be.
I have a renewed dedication to this blog. It is inherently embarrassing to write, but I know I have to start out somewhere and the real value will come from the compilation of content and my own growth.
I want to write more clearly. To convey my reality authentically. So far I have only squeezed feelings out into blunt bouncy verses. Unclear ideas, poetic nothings that are as flavorless as sparkling water.
The goal for this blog is to capture life for (at least) the first year of my life as a mother - AND - in the process, grow.
Mabel is sitting up strong, starting solid foods, and leaping toward everything including life itself. Thomas and I are entering “shit’s getting real” parenthood.
A quest towards real.
